The other day, I did something I never thought I’d do, a few things actually. I went to the movies one Friday on opening day about the group N.W.A. it was a great film. But that’s not what I’m getting at. Afterwards, we went to his house and hung out on the porch as he smoked his self-rolled cigarettes. He’s crafty like that. I had nothing going on so I hung out some. A group of Dominican guys had bought the house across the street not too long ago. A few weeks ago we met one of them; he had come over to meet his new neighbors. I was only there as a fly on the wall though. Being this was a Friday, my first there in a long time. I noticed they were all out on the corner on the sidewalk outside their house, hanging out. I was told it was their weekly ritual. I didn’t have an issue with it.
Our friendly guy who had introduced himself a few weeks prior had approached us again, and invited us over. I was already intimidated, now extremely. See, by “hanging out” I meant drinking and smoking pot. I’m not a smoker, but I do drink. But that’s not the point. I wasn’t even a neighbor so I was already out of my element. Now we were three white guys hanging out on the corner with 6 or 7 Dominican guys. I am terrible at fitting in when I feel like I don’t first off. So here I am, trying to act cool and calm standing on the corner, making small talk with these guys as they’re messing with a giant moped, and blasting Spanish music from their cars.
Then the joint gets passed around. Now I feel extra awkward. I have to say I don’t smoke and they look at me like I’m an alien. All the guys are also drinking, we’re only standing there, everyone smoking but me. I’m quite nervous, as I realize even though I’m not partaking in the substance intake, if a cop rolls by, I’m kind of incriminating myself. A very white thought I know, but true! I mean, they’re literally out on the sidewalk on the street, cracking beers open. Nobody said a word about it. So I’m mostly listening and nodding along to conversation, trying to not look more out of place than I already am. Then another guy pulls up, he’s been to the store. He pulls out a brand new box of Heinekens and another guy passed it around and offers some. That was my chance. My yolo moment. My time to shine. I didn’t think about it and grabbed one. I cracked it open and acted cool.
NOW, I’m getting nervous. I’m now drinking in public. Ironically I try to swig it down quicker to quell my fear. I don’t feel any cooler or more at ease at fitting in, but I definitely proved to myself I could do such a thing. There were a few times before and after I was given a look by my friend. A “Are you cool with this, or do you want to go?” Look. I decided to stay and see how far it’d go. People drove by, no one called the cops, no one yelled at us to turn the music down. Nothing. I was confused as to what to do with my empty, as I didn’t want to leave it on the stone wall, or more importantly carry it across the street or to my car. I left it there and it was taken care of though. I never really felt like I totally fit in that night, I can tell when others look at me as if I stick out like a flamingo on a snowy lawn. It was only me of course, the others were cooler about it I think. But regardless of how I felt, we watched some very drunk guys ride a moped up a street, dance around, and talk about everything for a few hours. I think I stood there for a good 3 hours or so. I surprised myself.
It was a crazy experience. One of those situations that you don’t even have time to think about putting yourself into or taking yourself out of. You can only decide on the spot, and see what happens. I drank in public. There was a “Holy shit, we’re actually doing this.” Look between my friend and I briefly. We stood out there for quite a while watching others drink and smoke with no punishment. We also hung out with a bunch of guys we thought we had little in common with. But it turns out, that’s not the case.
I don’t advise drinking in public, but I do advise every once in a while, to say “screw it, what do I have to lose?” and do it.